january 26th...
exhausting day on every level. emotional, physical, mental, pounding out a static rhythm on my head. ouch!
relief...i need relief...where to go? what to do? i drove right over the see uma...knew that would bring me out of my head, out of my aching body, and make me smile and laugh to boot. "hi-lo" i shouted as i walked in the door. "e-ma"! i could her her squeal with delight from upstairs...i could hear her little steps running down the hallway to the staircase. i looked up and saw her standing there at the top of the stairs with a huge smile on her face. she was so sincerely happy to see me. my heart melted. we skyped with grandpa and abulita on her littel ipad. it is so sweet that her grandfather (my x) takes the time to spend with her. god knows he had no time for his own son when he was that age...too driven with his own worthy vocational aspirations to have time to spend playing. after skype we went downstairs to play some games. ' two the same' of course that's a given and then we got in a game of soccer....she's a natural
after we played with the sensory tub again. then after about 10 minutes uma suggested that we have a rest. she lay down in tub full of beans and buttons and proceed to have a 20 minute nap just lying there thinking and hardly moving. i lay on the floor next to her in disbelief. this is the girl who never stops moving ... so for her to lie still for 20 minutes was unprecedented as far as my experience of uma. i had to get up twice just to take a peek at her to see if she was sleeping because she was still, but no...she was lying there staring into space and resting.
if my phone hadn't rung i wonder how much longer it would have lasted. but as it was, she got up and started to play again. madhava woke up from his nap so i got to see him for a few minutes and even cuddle for a while (thank you mama) before i left for my thursday dance class.
wonderful class...nice size group of women, about ten of us. learning is a hard as an adult especially because we thing we should already know everything and are therefore unwilling to feel awkward and unknowing. therefore we become resisitant to learning new stuff. i know i really have to push myself most of the time to go to class, to keep myself open to the process and willing to be the novice. it's hard at my age because my body hurts so. but then i think of hedy and how it must feel to be in a 99 year old body. if i think it hurts now, imagine how it will be down the road. i have to remind myself that it will never be as good as it is right now so stop complaining and keep moving.
january 27....
dhani's birthday today ....i prepared a small dinner for our family and a couple of his friends. nothing too fancy
but it was wholesome and tasty. he requested his favorite dish 'gaurunga potatoes' which is a potato casserole with lots of sour cream, butter and spices. i also made a vegan version of it for my daughter and i...scalloped potatoes with soy milk. i made a big pot of heart soup and steamed some greens to eat with quinoa. i got home from work and cooked everything while company stood around and chatted and watched the meal come into being. though i felt tiring it is also satisfying to cook for my family. happy birthday my love....
january 28th....
early morning yoga class very soothing. glorious day.... the sun was shining in the windows and the lighting in the studio was delightful. i had to take some pictures but i knew it would be annoying to the others in my class so i tried to be stealthy....however someone noticed and complained. urgh...i felt so bad.
sometimes it is a struggle to decide whether i should be part of the action or the observer. i want to be both things, but it is not possible. as soon as the camera is in my hand i have stepped out of the activity and become a voyeur.
shivasanahhhhhh......
january 29th... one of those day...none of the pics it took turned out. i got quite a few shots out in the garden, but alas they came out so dark that they were not salvageable. darn.
january 30th....the visit
uma and madhava's grandparents came for a long visit. this is the first time they are seeing madhava in the flesh...they live in parsons, kanasas and lead very busy lives. i gave them lots of space to enjoy their grandchildren and the rest of the family. uma s so lucky because she has three grandmothers and two grandfathers....she really hit the mother-lode (pun intended).
red tent temple meet-up at tedi's house. we had a beautiful evening of sharing, dancing, coloring mandala's, crying and laughing. so healing. i am learning to appreciate these gatherings and look forward to the next red tent. thank you ladies
january 31st....
i went over to my son's house to take pictures of baby madhava. it was sunny and the lighting was good but we didn't have the right set up and most of the pictures are not very good. we'll do it again later this week. he's growing up so fast....it seemed when uma was a baby that time dragged on for ever. oh the delicious baby cuteness...i can't get enough of him.
february 1st.... where did january go?
this picture of the moon is misleading...it looks much fuller in this picture then it did with the bare eye. february started with the surprise return of my dear friend diana from thailand. we weren't expecting her back for another three weeks, but circumstances dictated her early return. we got together over at diana's house and had dinner and caught up on everything that had transpired in the two weeks he was gone.
d's house is very influenced by her travels don't you agree.
exhausting day on every level. emotional, physical, mental, pounding out a static rhythm on my head. ouch!
relief...i need relief...where to go? what to do? i drove right over the see uma...knew that would bring me out of my head, out of my aching body, and make me smile and laugh to boot. "hi-lo" i shouted as i walked in the door. "e-ma"! i could her her squeal with delight from upstairs...i could hear her little steps running down the hallway to the staircase. i looked up and saw her standing there at the top of the stairs with a huge smile on her face. she was so sincerely happy to see me. my heart melted. we skyped with grandpa and abulita on her littel ipad. it is so sweet that her grandfather (my x) takes the time to spend with her. god knows he had no time for his own son when he was that age...too driven with his own worthy vocational aspirations to have time to spend playing. after skype we went downstairs to play some games. ' two the same' of course that's a given and then we got in a game of soccer....she's a natural
after we played with the sensory tub again. then after about 10 minutes uma suggested that we have a rest. she lay down in tub full of beans and buttons and proceed to have a 20 minute nap just lying there thinking and hardly moving. i lay on the floor next to her in disbelief. this is the girl who never stops moving ... so for her to lie still for 20 minutes was unprecedented as far as my experience of uma. i had to get up twice just to take a peek at her to see if she was sleeping because she was still, but no...she was lying there staring into space and resting.
if my phone hadn't rung i wonder how much longer it would have lasted. but as it was, she got up and started to play again. madhava woke up from his nap so i got to see him for a few minutes and even cuddle for a while (thank you mama) before i left for my thursday dance class.
 | |
| madhava & his daddy |
january 27....
dhani's birthday today ....i prepared a small dinner for our family and a couple of his friends. nothing too fancy
january 28th....
early morning yoga class very soothing. glorious day.... the sun was shining in the windows and the lighting in the studio was delightful. i had to take some pictures but i knew it would be annoying to the others in my class so i tried to be stealthy....however someone noticed and complained. urgh...i felt so bad.
sometimes it is a struggle to decide whether i should be part of the action or the observer. i want to be both things, but it is not possible. as soon as the camera is in my hand i have stepped out of the activity and become a voyeur.
shivasanahhhhhh......
january 29th... one of those day...none of the pics it took turned out. i got quite a few shots out in the garden, but alas they came out so dark that they were not salvageable. darn.
january 30th....the visit
uma and madhava's grandparents came for a long visit. this is the first time they are seeing madhava in the flesh...they live in parsons, kanasas and lead very busy lives. i gave them lots of space to enjoy their grandchildren and the rest of the family. uma s so lucky because she has three grandmothers and two grandfathers....she really hit the mother-lode (pun intended).
red tent temple meet-up at tedi's house. we had a beautiful evening of sharing, dancing, coloring mandala's, crying and laughing. so healing. i am learning to appreciate these gatherings and look forward to the next red tent. thank you ladies
january 31st....
i went over to my son's house to take pictures of baby madhava. it was sunny and the lighting was good but we didn't have the right set up and most of the pictures are not very good. we'll do it again later this week. he's growing up so fast....it seemed when uma was a baby that time dragged on for ever. oh the delicious baby cuteness...i can't get enough of him.
february 1st.... where did january go?
this picture of the moon is misleading...it looks much fuller in this picture then it did with the bare eye. february started with the surprise return of my dear friend diana from thailand. we weren't expecting her back for another three weeks, but circumstances dictated her early return. we got together over at diana's house and had dinner and caught up on everything that had transpired in the two weeks he was gone.
d's house is very influenced by her travels don't you agree.
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